After Life / New Poem (Rough First Draft)

After Life

Have you ever been so beautiful?

Hair pale as moonshine, skin

ornamented with luminous blue rivers.

 

You haven’t got used to being alone yet.

I follow you to the cafe, listen to you pause

when they ask for your order.

 

You get your tea eventually, sit

by the window where we used to

sketch in the fog of condensation.

 

When you cry, your eyes shine like

new marbles and I want to kiss your lips.

I wonder if you still taste of warm caramel.

 

Those who say ghosts can’t feel

are wrong. This pain is like

a mountain still growing.

 

I’m angry we didn’t conquer

the world on time.

 

I’m angry your brother

still has his TV too loud.

 

I remember our last argument,

how you wrote I’m sorry 26 times

in one text message.

 

The fall you had yesterday carved chunks

out of your knuckles. Later, you’ll make

guacamole and forget your injuries.

 

Lemon juice will make trails down your fingers.

 

You’ll bite your tongue. The pain

will set you off, and I won’t be there

to catch you when you throw yourself

face down on our crumpled bed.

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