Fear of Erotica
I’ve been offered a position writing primarily erotic fiction, and today I attempted to write my first erotic short story. But I have very mixed feelings about everything to do with it, from the actual writing of it, to the content, to what people are going to think and whether or not it’s going to have the desired effect and turn them on.
I wish I could just dive in and be all blasé about blowjobs and bondage, but, well, I’m struggling, and feeling very much like my main character who is engaging in some BDSM for the very first time. ‘But you’re a writer,’ I bet you’re thinking. ‘You need to be able to write about anything.’ And yes, I agree. And I thought to myself yesterday, ‘come on Katie, you can do this no stress!’ But when you sit down to actually do it, things don’t always pan out, and that confidence you had can fuck off around the nearest corner.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying (some of) it, you know, exploring topics I’ve never really explored before in my work, but it’s turning out to be a very bizarre experience, and I’m not sure if it’s something I can do over and over. Who knows though, I might get into it and produce something worthwhile. While I was thinking up the plot for my story, I had an idea for an erotic novel, but if I’m struggling with a short story, hell, what would I be like with an 80,000 word beast?
Anyway, I have tomorrow to finish this piece, and I guess that I’ll see from there if I have what it takes to go ahead and create more.