Contentment/New Poem (Rough First Draft)
Feeling really happy here in Norway and this happened…I wrote it in twenty minutes. What you see here really is a rough first draft!
My heart is a firecracker
against a mirror this morning.
There’s glitter in my belly button,
I don’t remember how it got there.
Beneath this baffling happiness,
my contentment with life is glacial
tight. I’ve a bloodlust for existence.
I shake my hair out. My ears momentarily
sound as though they’re filled with guzzling
honey bees. Then all is clear and sharp and open.
I’m finding this joy genuinely compelling.
The sun is grinding through the curtains,
flashing against an empty glass, like stars
quietly exploding, and it’s so fucking beautiful.
Everything feels absurdly adequate and I’m deliriously
happy. I feel crocodile smart. Nobody, nothing
can sabotage this sensation.
I don’t want to delete the mountains I need to scale,
I want to run up them, my spirit chiming
the melody of my pagan bell.
Here are the blueprints for my depression.
I don’t need them.