Contentment/New Poem (Rough First Draft)

Feeling really happy here in Norway and this happened…I wrote it in twenty minutes. What you see here really is a rough first draft!


My heart is a firecracker

against a mirror this morning.


There’s glitter in my belly button,

I don’t remember how it got there.


Beneath this baffling happiness,

my contentment with life is glacial

tight. I’ve a bloodlust for existence.


I shake my hair out. My ears momentarily  

sound as though they’re filled with guzzling

honey bees. Then all is clear and sharp and open.


I’m finding this joy genuinely compelling.

The sun is grinding through the curtains,


flashing against an empty glass, like stars

quietly exploding, and it’s so fucking beautiful.


Everything feels absurdly adequate and I’m deliriously

happy. I feel crocodile smart. Nobody, nothing

can sabotage this sensation.


I don’t want to delete the mountains I need to scale,

I want to run up them, my spirit chiming

the melody of my pagan bell.  


Here are the blueprints for my depression.

I don’t need them.