The weather is stormy outside. Inside, it’s humid as fuck and I’m getting annoyed. My hands are clammy and not wanting to do the simplest tasks, i.e. hold a pen, type or sew. I have a love/hate relationship with this weather. I love driving in storms. Sorry. I love being driven, in a car while it’s raining and thundering outside. I feel excited and invincible, up there at the front behind the strong shield of glass, more often than not completely forgetting that the probability of me dying in the car just shot up by about 50%. I love this weather especially when it’s a long drive and I don’t have to get out of for ages. I love it when I have nothing to do and can just sit at the window and watch the rain bouncing off the road. But today I have things to do. I have things to write. And I could really do with a short cold but dry snap so my fingers could function again properly without sticking to each other as if I’d put thin layers of super glue along the inside of each digit. But I’m going to have to stick it out, and every now and then go and drench my hands in cold water, dry them real quick and get as much written as I can before they start to clam up again. There’s a brief break in the rain. Looking out I can see a young lad in the house opposite with his face pressed up against the window pane.
I haven’t written for quite a few days, and it is starting to take its toll. I’m cranky. But I can’t beat myself up about it. Life has been going on, and time has been sticking two fingers up at me and jeering, as I try and cram everything in and tick off my ‘to do’ lists. I have a few more days of certain mania, then, hopefully, things are going to calm down a little bit and I can get back on track.
So, I haven’t been writing, but I have been doing other things that feed into it. Working on Beautiful Scruffiness and Big Eyes, performing my poetry at Middlesbrough Literary Festival, gaining a business partner and kick starting Slice of the Moon Publishing again and providing creative writing workshops to Early Intervention Service Users. I’ve also been working for real, in a shop, when I wear a blue t-shirt, a name badge and a smile. But I am going to nudge back into my writing routine, starting from today. It is, has always been and will always be an imperative part of my life, storm or no storm.