One A Day: Day 27: The Bat Man

The Bat Man

I wish I could be a big boy, right now, so I didn’t have to do this stupid dance thing. Every day since forever we have to jump around to that Take That band. And. I. Hate. It.

“Can everybody stop, please? Neo, what is it? Why aren’t you joining in like all the other boys and girls?”

“This music is crap.” I say it really loudly so everybody can hear. “I don’t want to dance to it.” The others start laughing through their noses, but Miss hates me now. Someone else takes over the dancing and she comes over to me. It’s good she’s stopped doing it because all the boys were watching her boobies. Now the new man teacher is doing it instead and no one is laughing at him because he has tattoos and wears big boots and comes from Newcastle where everybody is made out of hard stuff. That’s what my Dad always says. The Teachers Room smells of coffee, the black type that Dad puts in his flask in a morning. I want to cover my nose.

“What music do you like then, Neo?” Miss asks.

“Dunno. That band with the man who eats bats.”

“Black Sabbath?”

“Yeah, that’s it. My Dad likes them. He lets me watch the record go round on his player. It’s really old.” Miss has some of that horrible coffee in a mug. “I like the man who sings about poison too.”

“Alice Cooper.”

“My Dad likes him aswell. So does my mum. My mum has trousers like his.” Miss snorts into her cup. It’s funny.

“And that other one, they’re poison too, you know, snake poison.”



“How about we make a deal? If you keep dancing to Take That…”

“But miss…”

“I know, I don’t like them either. But if you do, then I’ll ask the head and see if we can play the music me and you like, okay?”



“So, you think Take That are crap too?”

“Yes, but I didn’t say that though.” Miss looks at the massive clock on the far wall, with man’s bits drawn all over it. “Now, break has finished so you’re going to need to pelt it to class. But before you go though, look at this. It’ll prove I’m not lying.” Miss rolls up her sleeve. There’s a tattoo of the bat man on her arm, like the picture I’ve seen of him!