The trouble with colour

Today has been a day dogged with depression for reasons I’d rather not discuss. I’ve been wearing my medieval black peasant hood all day (last night my mother lovingly reminded me how weird it is. I love it when she does.) wishing I was invisible. I’m not being melodramatic. Medication can’t be there to save me from myself all the time. Sometimes I’ve just got to rough it out and see the next day in with a smile and a head full of new, positive thoughts.

Now, the title of this blog refers to the gear that I have been buying for the Iceland trip. I’ve had to purchase things of colour, instead of my customary black. The reason being is simple: I couldn’t find black hiking boots and the best backpack I was able to find for the sort of money I was willing to hand over wasn’t black either. If I wanted black, I’d have to pay an extra fiver or so, and downgrade my bag. Which I wasn’t willing to do. So, after an hour of deliberation, I decided to make the mature decision to buy the bag that wasn’t black.

As people who have known me for years will know, Katie doesn’t do colour. Or if she does, it’s extremely seldom. Anyway, I’ve decided that people in Iceland won’t give two shits about what I’m wearing, whether its colour or not, and I really have to get over it, that, for a few months, I’ll be looking slightly different than the ‘usual Black Metal style Katie.’ I’m being adult about it and have come to the conclusion that there are far, FAR more important things to be thinking about.

You might be laughing to yourself and thinking ‘what a complete twat for making such a fuss about colour’ but, I have been wearing solely black for more than half of my life, so to change that, even slightly, i.e. with a pair of shoes is very, very difficult at first. I feel comfortable in black. I feel myself in black. (I’ll sometimes wear a bit of red or green, those colours I can work with for a while.) But, this trip is going to be the adventure of a lifetime, and if I need to wear colour for it, then so be it. If I had to, I’d wear white for the whole 3 months. I’m going to Iceland and I am going to be the happiest woman in the world whatever I’m wearing.

Advertisements