Take it very, very slowly

Long time no blog. That isn’t good practise. I have been a good writer though, and stuck to my 1,000 words a day on my novel. Anyway, I’m not that well at the moment. It’s another medication scenario, where the Doctors can’t do the simple task of getting the right prescription written and put in a small plastic box ready for collection. It’s not all their fault though. I did run out a few days ago, but honestly, I never expected the withdrawal symptoms to hit me so hard and fast. But they did, within a matter of hours. For the past couple of days, I’ve been vomiting constantly, suffering from an obscenely bad back and having the most violent of headaches. I pity the people on the bus and train who had to sit by as I puked into plastic bags and held onto them until I was able to throw them away. On the bumpy, nausea inducing hour long trip from Cockermouth (Yes, this place exists. No, I can’t understand why the name hasn’t been changed to something else that wouldn’t receive such a heightened about of ridicule) to Carlisle. So I’ve been living on boiled rice and bananas when I can stomach them. Hopefully, when I return to the Drs in a couple of hours, roaring flames, they’ll be able to give me my happy pills. I thought I deserved a treat, so bought these lovely lapel pins,



and the fifth issue of Oh Comely, a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful new-ish magazine that I’ve recently come across.


(This isn’t issue 5)


I’m borderline obsessive about this beautifully produced publication, and I think once you’ve seen it, you will be too. It’s the sort of thing that you come across, and as much as you want to tell people about it, you also want to keep it your own little secret. But then you seen all the letters they receive, etc, and you know that many, many more people, more than you can imagine, are enjoying it to. But I suppose that’s lovely.


The other day, I watched a magnificent film. Troll Hunter is a Norwegian horror film, done in a similar style to the Blair Witch.



Basically, the plot goes something like this; a group of students are trying to make a documentary about a bear poacher, but the bloke they are following, Hans, turns out to be a poacher of slightly more obscure creatures – trolls. Are a bit of persisting, they manage to make him agree to letting them accompany him on his troll hunts, as long as they cover themselves in ‘troll scent’ and do exactly what he says. One of the reasons he lets them come along is because he is sick of the way in which the troll ‘epidemic’ is kept hidden, and believes that it ought to be filmed and shown. He also asks if any of them are Christian because, wonderfully enough, the trolls can smell the blood of Christians. They all go about saying god is a farce, but one of them is lying…as we discover later on in the film when he is devoured by a troll that looks as though its stepped straight out a John Bauer illustration. A lot of the film is filmed in Western Norway, around the Sognafjord and this was, for me, one of the highlights. I could see roads I’d been on, forests I’d trekked through, fjords I’d crossed. It made the film really, really special, and I’m going to buy it, without a shadow of a doubt. For me, one of the greatest films I’ve ever seen.

I have a wonderful new plan that’s going to take place in one – two years. I bet many of you who know of me and my obsessions will be able to guess what it is, but for the time being, I am keeping it under wraps. The reason it has to start when I’m nearing 30 is because it’s going to take a hell of a lot of fundraising (hence the reason I’ve applied for kitchen assistant jobs), research and planning. But it is going to be immense.