Complicated Lady

I have finally managed to get my hands on some medication. The bastard doctor who finally gave me a batch (only two weeks’ worth because the noob reckons I’m going to sell them on the streets or something) was unbelievably offensive. He went on, and on and on about how I am a ‘complicated lady,’ with a pretty grim background. He kept on harping on about the dosage of my meds and implying that I ought to be cooped up in a mental health ward. When I said I didn’t understand something, he made it clear that actually it wasn’t difficult or hard to understand and looked at me as though I was thick.

On a brighter note, I managed to ‘The Greatest Show on Earth,’ by Richard Dawkins and a mint looking travel book called ‘How low Can You Go?’ By this bloke called Tom Chesshyre for £3 in a local charity shop. I have to say that these finds are extremely rare nowadays (well, offline anyway.) The local, epic second hand bookstore, Bookcase, is my favourite shop in Carlisle, probably my favourite place too. But the problem with the books there is that they are too expensive for second hand books. I mean, I wouldn’t pay £8 for a dog eared book which was previously £10. I simply can’t afford it. If bookcase were to lower their prices on their general stock, just a little bit, say a couple of quid, it wouldn’t always be so dead in there. The same applies for Oxfam bookstores too. People just don’t want to pay almost full price for a tatty book when they can get it brand new for half the price off Amazon. But if word gets around that books are going for cheaper

Watched a simply remarkable film t’other night. Tarnation is unlike any film that I have ever seen. Constructed of 20 years worth of video footage, film and TV clips, photographs and answer phone messages, it documents the life of Jonathan Caouette and the relationship that he has with his mentally ill mother, Renne. Renne, a child model, fell off a roof and was given electroshock therapy, but didn’t need it. As a result, she became a victim of lifelong insanity. Later on in the film, she overdoses on lithium and suffers brain damage. Caouette goes through a lot of shit as a child, and comes out as being gay at a very young age, but demonstrates awe inspiring creativity and passion as a writer, actor and director throughout. Some parts of the film are difficult to watch and you feel as if he is exposing the very marrow of his bones to you. It’s an exceptional, highly emotional film well worth getting hold of.

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