Something isn’t right

I know something’s not right when I can’t finish a cup of tea. Actually, I haven’t been able to finish any over the past two days. I think it has something to do with anxiety and stress. The doctors I have been seeing for three and a half years refuse, point blank, to supply me with medication anymore. I’m not going to go into the messy, pathetic story of why they won’t, but even though it’s illegal what they’re doing, they won’t get off their high horses and have told me I need to go elsewhere and register with a new Doctor. For the week I’m still here in Carlisle. Ridiculous isn’t it. So yesterday, that’s what I did, but, surprise surprise, the doctors in town isn’t taking on any new patients. No, not even for a week. So anyway, I have my mental health support worker back home in Teesside working at trying to get me two packets of pills. Yes, that’s all I need. Those two packets of pills, along with my own determination and damn bloody mindedness will help stop the nausea, depressive episodes, dizzyness, delusions, paranoia and insomnia.

I cannot wait to go to Norway with Tom. I am ticking the days off in my diary. I am in love with that country, with the landscape, with the language and history and music and folk culture.  I smile whenever I think about it and get a tingle through my whole body. Its lovely and makes a change from feeling blegh.

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