Welcome to the Real World

Hello real word. My name is Katie Marie Metcalfe. I’m a writer, a poet and a publisher. Can I come in?

So, I’ve graduated. 1st Class honours I’ll have you know and I am proud, no, wait, I’m FUCKING proud of myself. Not only did I manage to sit in a cathedral without setting fire to something or blaspheming at the top of my lungs and embarrassing my parents, I also looked good as the part, if I might say so myself. Slightly self-centered you may think…I think not. University is over and done with. I’m in the real world now (and I have to say I look/am good because nobody else is going to know it unless I make it damn clear) without the scaffolding of education. And I tell you something, I’m ready to face it. Naturally though, I’m slightly shit scared. Well, who isn’t? You’re not? Who said I was the freak…

I have these ambitions to make Beautiful Scruffiness available in WH Smith, Waterstones and every other bookshop I can haul myself and my stock to. Believe you me, before the next year is out, Beautiful Scruffiness will have had made MASSIVE steps and the writers and illustrators, designers and editors will be praised for their talent and adored. I might even let the Guardian interview the lot of us about our IMMENSE success. The BBC might be allowed to do a brief piece on the morning news. Radio 4 will be welcome to invite us on the show, and take up the whole morning slot with readings from the writers in the magazine.

Of course, not only will Beautiful Scruffiness be on the shopping list of most people across the land, but I WOULD have managed to find publishers for ‘Lost in Iceland’ and ‘Anthony.’ (Failing that, I would have self-published it myself and done a tremendous job.) Oh…and the poetry…well, it’s now 01.44 on Wednesday morning and I’m a bit knackered. So we’ll tread that ambitious path another time.

Big ambitions? Of course. What else were you expecting? Some meek mumble of how I’d like to have a few poems published, maybe, every now and then and a job working in Heron Frozen Foods. Fuck off. I didn’t study Creative Writing for three years for nothing. I’m real and want MORE than that, and I’m not afraid/ashamed/anxious to mention it. I am willing to move anything to get what I want out of life, and if that means mountains then I’m ready. Of course, if I have to work in Heron Frozen Foods…well, after discounting tea cakes and dent cans of orange Tango, I’d pack the rest of my time with writing, publishing, performing, printing…you name it.

Welcome to the Real World.

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